Number One (1969)

A bizarre yet fascinating vehicle for star Charlton Heston, Number One (1969) sees an aging, broken down NFL quarterback facing the end of a career. But Ron Catlan (Heston) refuses to go quietly as his body betrays him after years of abuse to make way for a younger model because, in the end, football is all the man has ever known; and worse yet, it’s all that defines who he is as a man.

Unfortunately, from there, the film kinda gets hung-up in a feature-length temper tantrum on questioning what is manhood and male-ego stroking when it gets to the women in Catlan’s life; his estranged wife Julie (Walter), where their sex scene sure looked like a sexual assault to me; and his mistress, Ann Marley (Muldaur), who just can’t seem to understand their man and properly tune into his mid-life crisis.

Now, all of this is set to a prescription pharmaceutical-smooth jazz muzak score by Dominic Frontiere and a cameoing Al Hirt both on field and off. But in the end, his malignant hubris comes back to bite our hero in the ass as he tries for just one more day in the sun but winds up eating the turf.

Apparently, this production had the full cooperation of the NFL and NFL Films as Heston is edited into footage of real New Orleans Saints games and also simulated games staged at the old Sugar Bowl stadium.

This works better than you’d think despite how Heston’s lean frame doesn’t really jive or mesh with the pickle-barrel body of the current Saints QB Billy Kilmer. Where it does fall apart is with the insert footage of Heston, who, surprisingly enough, makes for an even less convincing quarterback than Alan Alda did as George Plympton in The Paper Lion (1968).

Still, it’s fun to watch Judah Moses Ben-Hur telling opposing players to “screw off” or encouraging his teammates with a hearty, “Lets put those muthers to bed.” And it is kind of fascinating to see what Heston was up to during this era when he wasn't appearing in things like Planet of the Apes (1968), The Omega Man (1971), and Soylent Green (1973). 

Overall, I guess enjoyed Number One well enough despite its faults, fumbles, and several flags and personal fouls for the cringe-inducing moments concerning the man’s crumbling sex life. If nothing else it makes for an interesting / fascinating time capsule / case study of what was going on at the moribund major studios while things like Easy Rider (1969) were going on at the minors.

Apparently, the film bombed upon release, which is both understandable and why I, and probably you, hadn’t ever even heard of Number One before Amazon Prime coughed it up the other day in a ‘since you watched that, we think you might like this’ rec. You might like it, too. Or you may choose to punt. I understand. No Monday Morning Quarterbacking here.

Originally posted on 6/5/2020 on Facebook.

Number One (1969) Walter Seltzer Productions :: United Artists / P: Walter Seltzer / AP: Frank Baur / D: Tom Gries / W: David Moessinger / C: Michel Hugo / M: Dominic Frontiere / S: Charlton Heston, Jessica Walter, Diana Muldaur, Bruce Dern, John Randolph, Mike Henry, G.D. Spradlin, Al Hirt