Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Roustabout (1964)


"Lets get one thing straight. 
"This is not a circus. This, is a carnival."

We open in a place called Mother’s Tea Room, which is a bit of a purposeful misnomer, I'd wager -- if I’m reading the film’s tea leaves right, as a waitress sits and knowingly serves alcohol to a group of under-age college co-eds (-- among them Raquel Welch and Norm Grabowski), and then instructs them on what to do with their drinks when a certain light over the bar starts flashing, meaning a raid is imminent. And then this ersatz speakeasy really gets to rollin’ when the owner chases the current act offstage and introduces the next one, Charlie Rogers. 

Now, here, we quickly deduce that Rogers (Presley) is from the wrong side of the tracks, has a fairly sizable chip on his shoulder, and a very short fuse when his first number, “Poison Ivy League,” really takes the piss out of the unruly, privileged "college boys" he sees seated before him. And when you couple that vibe with the fact he also brazenly hit on their girlfriends between each verse, a trio of collegians decide it's time to knock this smart-mouthed singer down a peg or two.

Easily goading their hot-tempered target into a fight out in the parking lot, at three against one, these odds may seem unfair but Rogers quickly breaks out his mad karate skills and easily dispatches all of his assailants, seriously injuring one of them. Alas, sensing trouble, that waitress, Marge (Staley), had called the cops, who take in the carnage and then take Rogers into custody. 

After spending the night in the clink, Marge pays his fine and bails him out in the morning. Seems she has fallen hard for Rogers and is trying to set the hook in deep; but our boy ain’t interested in being tied down or beholden to anyone. “Just because you bailed me out doesn’t mean you own me,” says Rogers, who punctuates this point by hopping on his motorcycle and leaving poor Marge in the dust with nary a backward glance.

Thus and so, it’s time for our aimless drifter to once more move on, who dons his leathers, straps all of his worldly possessions onto his bike, and then hits the open road, where he spontaneously bursts into the song, “Wheels on My Heels.” Now, when this song peters out, Rogers comes upon a trio of people motoring along in a jeep. Spotting a pretty girl riding in the back, our wayward lothario immediately makes a pass at her -- all at about 50mph. 

But the girl's belligerent father, Joe Lean (Ericson), doesn't like this greaser making the goo-goo on his little girl, Cathy (Freeman), and promptly runs the motorcyclist off the road in a fit of temper, much to the consternation of his daughter and his second passenger, his boss, Maggie Morgan (Stanwyck).

Luckily, Rogers isn’t seriously injured. His bike on the other hand is nearly totaled. And by way of an apology, Maggie not only offers to pay for all the damages, including replacing his busted guitar, but also gives this handsome stranger a job as a temporary roustabout for her carnival in spite of Joe Lean’s vehement protests. Rogers accepts, mostly to piss Joe off, but makes it perfectly clear he will only stick around long enough for his bike to be repaired and then he’s gonesville.

With that settled, Rogers quickly gets to work by first learning the difference between a >circus< and >>carnival<< and the Secret Code of Carnies (-- which is very similar to Ape Law from The Planet of the Apes (1968) when you really get right down to it). He also quickly ingratiates himself to his fellow roustabouts, putting rides together, and the rehearsing performers along the midway (-- including Billy Barty and Richard Kiel), picking up the lingo as he goes, learning the tricks of the trade, and avoiding both Joe Lean and a certain grab-fanny fortune teller (Langdon) as much as possible. In fact, he’s adapted so well Maggie's convinced the carnie sawdust has already infected his veins so deeply he’ll soon sign on permanently. 

But Rogers still insists he’ll be leaving as soon as the parts come in for his bike. (About a week.) Meantime, he also works hard to charm Cathy; but her constantly cock-blocking father and her dedication to the Carnie Life seems to always get in the way. And on top of all that, the carnival itself is in some serious trouble.

Under the financial pressure of a recent lawsuit and personal injury settlement, whose root cause was a malfunctioning ride that was under Joe Lean’s direct supervision, who was too drunk to see that it wasn’t stitched together properly, Maggie is currently way behind on the loan payments to keep her operation going. Of course, this chain of events is what set Joe off on his current self-destructive, bourbon-fueled rage spiral despite Maggie’s assurances that it's all in the past and he needs to move on. And she is willing to help him with this, if he’ll let her. 

But all assurances aside, with foreclosure imminent, this one-lung operation is currently on its last leg. And only a miracle, like, say, oh, I don’t know, maybe if Rogers, in his effort to get a shot at Cathy, suddenly bursts into song on several occasions as he serenades her down the midway, drawing a sizable crowd in his wake, will finally turn things around...

After the middlin’ box-office and critical panning of both Flaming Star (1960) and Wild in the Country (1961), Colonel Tom Parker, manager, technical adviser, huckster, chiseler, and grifter extraordinaire, was able to use these back-to-back disappointments to convince his top client and massive cash-cow that it was obvious nobody wanted to see him act as another character in a dramatic role, and only wanted to see him be, well, Elvis Presley. And in Parker’s defense, the numbers backed him up -- at least to a certain degree. The musical comedy G.I Blues (1960) had raked in $4.3 million while Wild in the Country, a drama, brought in $2.7 million and Flaming Star, a western, barely broke over $2 million. 

Thus, from there, for all intents and purposes, with one notable exception that we’ll be addressing in a second, Presley’s chance at a legit acting career was in trouble as he officially entered the Travelogue or Action-Man phase of his Hollywood journey, where he would basically play himself plugged into different playsets with the appropriate accessory pack over and over and over again; be it a boxer in Kid Galahad (1962), a Sheriff in Follow that Dream (1962), or, to get really meta, playing himself as a movie star based on himself in Harum Scarum (1965).

Screenwriter Allan Weiss was responsible for the majority of the scripts during this transitional period -- Blue Hawaii (1961), Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962), Fun in Acapulco (1963), and cemented the formula of slapstick, traveling-matte shenanigans, and a song every seven minutes. Quick and cheap and all according to producer Hal Wallis’s specifications. “Wallis [purposefully] kept the screenplays shallow,” said Weiss in a later interview for Peter Guralnick’s exhaustive, two volume biography on Presley, Last Train to Memphis: The Making of Elvis Presley and Careless Love: The Unmaking of Elvis Presley. “I was asked to create a believable framework for twelve songs and lots of girls” and not much else.

And while these films didn’t amount to much critically speaking they were still making a ton of money for both Parker and his client. At the time, Presley was being paid $200,000 per picture upfront plus 50% of the profits -- netting them about a half million per movie, of which Parker, as his manager, received half. Now, that back-half amount only counted what profits were left after all other production and advertising costs were recouped by the studio first. And so, Parker was constantly negotiating with several other Hollywood studios for a new contract, seeking a million dollar payday per-picture deal upfront. And until that deal was secured, Parker went out of his way to keep production costs down by any means necessary to reap all he could off the back-end of that deal

Of course, Wallis was the one who first imported Presley into motion pictures and inked him to that first contract for Paramount with Love Me Tender (1956), but he allowed Parker to loan Presley out to other studios as well -- mostly to let Parker be someone else's problem for awhile, including United Artists and MGM, which netted audiences It Happened at the World’s Fair (1963) and Viva Las Vegas (1964), which proved both a critical and commercial success -- in fact, it would be Presley’s highest grossing picture to date.

Now, Parker hated Viva Las Vegas with a passion for myriad and mostly petty reasons. Sure, producer Jack Cummings and director George Sydney had run circles around their “technical adviser” during the production, ignoring all his constant demands and meddling over how Sydney was favoring Presley’s co-star, Ann-Margret, too much and was allowing her to steal the movie. But the real reason Parker was so apoplectic over the production was all the money Cummings and Sydney and the studio were lavishly “wasting” on Viva Las Vegas, which went way over its allotted shooting schedule, and went way, way over budget, and cut way, way, way too much into Parker’s share of the profits.

Not wanting something like this to ever happen again, and still owing MGM two more pictures, ever the mercenary, Parker quickly struck a deal with Sam Katzman’s Four Leaf Productions to produce Kissin Cousins (1964) and Harum Scarum for MGM to distribute. Katzman and Parker were of like minds when it came to filmmaking: quick and cheap and done in ten days or less. And in Katzman’s case, sometimes five days or less. From there, all you gotta do is do the crooked math. Viva Las Vegas was an eleven week shoot with a budget estimated just south of $2 million. Kissin’ Cousins was completed in just 15-days on a budget of $800,000 -- over half of which went to Parker and Presley upfront. Thus and so, even though Viva Las Vegas technically made more money, Kissin’ Cousins made more of a profit for Parker first and Presley second. And to add even more insult to injury, Kissin’ Cousins was shot after Viva Las Vegas had wrapped but still beat it into theaters.

With that, Parker had successfully navigated his way around this perceived bump in the road. And while he was satisfied that things were back on track for their next scheduled feature with Wallis and Paramount -- Roustabout (1964), the master schemer was also starting to openly worry that he and Presley might no longer be on the same page.

On a personal level, at the time, Presley was kind of in a bad place. His affair with Ann-Margret had just both blown up in the papers and then subsequently imploded, which was followed by a massive fight with Priscilla Beaulieu, hidden away back in Graceland, over this infidelity. This would explain why Presley had been basically hiding out in Las Vegas for several weeks before he reported to the RCA Studios to record the soundtrack for Roustabout, where, according to an apocryphal story, when he requested that his usual back-up singers, The Jordanaires, accompany him on the “Wheels on My Heels” track, this was shot down because it wouldn’t mesh with the narrative of him riding alone on a motorcycle. Where would they come from (on film), they asked. To which Presley snapped back, “The same damned place as the band!”

"Who was that fast-talking hillbilly sonofabitch that nobody can understand?” Presley would later eulogize over his derailed movie career. “One day he's singing to a dog, then to a car, then to a cow. They're all the same damned movie with that Southerner just singing to something different." But even before the end, Presley was becoming disillusioned with acting and Parker's choice of scripts. Sensing this as well, to appease his client, Parker told Wallis that Roustabout needed to be a throwback picture and the main character needed to be a little wilder, a little rowdier, in an attempt to recreate the rebellious spark of Presley’s movies of the 1950s -- Loving You (1957), Jailhouse Rock (1957) and King Creole (1958). But, as the website Cinema Romantico rightly points out, “Whereas that spark in the ‘50s was more a product of youthful swagger, in Roustabout it is brewed with anger.”

The production was actually first announced back in May of 1961, then under the working title, Right This Way, Folks; and as an ex-carnie himself, I’m sure it was a concept that was dear to Col. Parker’s most grizzled heart. And once it was back on the slate, Parker would shoot off dozens of memos to Wallis about how the carnie workers should be treated with respect on film, focusing on the pride they took in their work. As for Wallis, he had his own concerns with the picture, feeling his star was looking a little “pudgy, soft and jowly.” His character was supposed to be a “rough, tough, hard-hitting guy” after all. And something would have to be done about his hair, which Wallis thought looked atrocious in Viva Las Vegas, feeling it came off as a bad wig; and so, the producer demanded the studio take care of Presley’s trademark dye-job and pompadour for the duration of the Roustabout shoot. Parker agreed, and so would Presley.

“If you ain’t tough in this world, baby, you get squashed,” says Rogers, establishing early on that his character has little patience or room in his psychological make-up for any sentiment. Anthony Lawrence would join Allan Weiss as co-screenwriter on Roustabout, who set to work making those required changes, explaining away why Charlie Rogers comes off as a bit of an indifferent, self-serving dick, which the film ultimately fails to get to the heart of and unravel -- a tactical error that would completely torpedo the ending. And it should be noted that, as presented this way, Rogers’ interest in Cathy cannot be interpreted as being romantically motivated at all; and therefore, it’s nothing more than a blitzkrieg attempt to woo the girl into knocking-boots behind the hot-dog stand before this pathological loner once more moves on.

Sure, this hardened veneer breaks down a little when Cathy subs in at the dunk tank where her father works the crowd on a chilly night, and is sent plunging into the frigid water by a ringer from the local baseball team, who seems hellbent on drowning the poor girl. And when Joe gets caught trying to rig the game to stop the next plunge in spite of another bullseye, the ball-tosser threatens to call a cop over these shenanigans. And so, all he can do is watch helplessly as Cathy, who assures she’s fine when it's obvious she’s not, is sent plunging into the tank again.

Here, Rogers finally steps in on Cathy’s behalf, pushes Joe aside, takes over the stand, and physically restrains the pitcher from hitting the target. It soon comes to blows, and the booth is destroyed in the resulting melee. When it's finally over, calmer heads prevail thanks to Maggie until the customer can’t find his wallet, left on the counter, who then accuses Joe of stealing it during the ruckus. Thus, Joe gets arrested and is hauled off to jail. And with his biggest obstacle finally out of the way, Rogers, in not the wisest of moves, takes this opportunity for another shot at Cathy, which goes about as well as you’d think under the circumstances.

Meanwhile, Maggie runs into Harry Carver (Buttram), a rival carnival owner, who’s anxious to pick the bones of her show once it finally goes under and then fold them into his own -- especially a certain singer he’s heard about that’s been drawing crowds like bears to honey. But the demise of her carnival has been greatly exaggerated, says Maggie, who claims she’s about to sign on Rogers for the long haul and then all her financial problems will be over.

Meantime, after having his own chat with Carver, and rejecting an offer to come work for him for more money, Rogers searches what’s left of the dunk-tank booth in an effort to make amends with Cathy and eventually finds the lost wallet where it fell unseen, hung up in the bunting. And while this discovery would exonerate Joe immediately, Rogers decides to let the old man cool his heels for the night in jail, letting him sleep off his multiple-week bender, and get his act together, for Maggie’s sake, I think. Again, the film is a little unclear on the motivations, here.

The following morning, a service truck drops off Rogers’ repaired motorcycle just in time to deliver that recovered wallet to the cops and spring Joe. But! Due to some rather dubious circumstances, this is all postponed again when he’s goaded into riding one of the stunt-bikes in the centrifugal Wall of Death attraction. Here, Joe’s wallet flops out of his pocket as he throttles down when Maggie and Cathy demand he stops this nonsense before their star attraction gets hurt, which is then found and given to Cathy. And while Rogers admits he found the wallet the night before and tries to explain his rationale for the delay in turning it in, his actions were a clear violation of the Carnie Code and he is immediately ostracized. 

This also earns him a rightful close encounter with Joe’s fist after Maggie gets him released. With that, Rogers packs up, leaves, and ultimately jumps shows, signing on with Carver, who funnels a lot of money to his new star and his production numbers (-- “Big Love, Big Heartache” wasn’t bad, but “Little Egypt” is the absolute worst). Of course, with Rogers no longer around, the crowds start drying up for Maggie as the weeks passed and now she’s officially being foreclosed on come tomorrow. When Cathy asks if there is anything she can do, Maggie says she already knows the answer to that ... Uh, movie? No. No she really doesn’t. 

And that’s why here, right here, is where Roustabout completely falls flat on its face as Cathy goes to see Rogers perform at the rival show. He spots her in the crowd, they connect on some cosmic level or … something, because now they're magically in love with each other. At least that’s how we’re forced to read it once the song wraps, as Rogers not only quits Carver’s show but takes the money he'd earned there and infuses it into Maggie’s carnival, making him part owner and a carnie for life.

This. This is what I meant about those changes to the script completely backfiring on the movie, resulting in a nonsensical, slapped and dashed happy ending that makes little sense and isn’t really earned in any way. It just happens because the script says so. As I also mentioned earlier, there isn’t much of a romance between Rogers and Cathy. In fact, I would say there is some dispute as to whether his efforts were to just get another “notch on his belt” or to knowingly piss off Joe Lean even more by having sex with his daughter. Sorry, the verdict’s still out on that one.

It didn’t really help that Presley couldn't really get anything to spark with Joan Freeman on screen. Apparently, Freeman was a little nervous around her co-star and his ever present entourage and tended to disappear into her trailer between takes. She's fine, it's just that their "romantic" arc is a total flatline. As her character’s father, Leif Ericson was a solid actor but the script kept him stuck at being angry or drunk or both. There are hints that Maggie has feelings for Joe but, once again, the script goes nowhere with this and Joe’s story arc is basically left unresolved. 

But! It should be noted that a lot of these subplots -- hell, the main plot, too, might’ve been left to die on the vine because there simply wasn’t time to film anything to expand on them since Parker’s meddling had managed to chop two whole weeks off the scheduled 8-week shoot. This was all just irrelevant collateral noise to move the film from song to song after all. No more, no less. And if the film didn't make any sense, damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead.

However, despite her limited opportunities, the movie just crackles whenever Barbara Stanwyck and Presley share any screen time as Maggie kinda sees through all of Rogers’ bullshit. According to several trade papers, the part was originally offered to Mae West, who refused to sign on when Wallis wouldn’t make her character one of Presley’s love interests. Stanwyck’s Maggie takes an instant liking to Rogers, but it's more motherly. She sees something in him that no one else can, apparently. 

Presley always seemed to fare better on screen when he was paired-up with a veteran actor of this caliber, more focused, and he would also star with Stanwyck’s fellow grande dames of the silver screen Glenda Farrell in Kissin’ Cousins and Joan Blondell in Stay Away, Joe (1968). And after a long and storied career, Roustabout would be Stanwyck’s final feature film as she shifted gears and moved to television, starting with the highly-successful, gender-swapped take on Bonanza, The Big Valley.

To make all of this work on screen as quickly as possible, Wallis turned to John Rich. Rich had been a prolific director for the small screen before Wallis signed him up to direct Wives and Lovers (1962) for the big screen (-- name any TV show pre-1980 and odds are good Rich directed at least three episodes, most notably for Gunsmoke, The Dick Van Dyke Show, and All in the Family, earning himself three Emmy Awards and countless nominations).

Stanwyck, Presley, Rich. 

Roustabout would be Rich's second feature film. “I didn’t know much about the musical theater,” Rich later confessed to Gurlanick. “I knew nothing about Elvis. I said, Why me? I had visions of doing rather grandiose pictures but I was going to do the very best I could and try to catch up as quickly as possible.” But despite his best efforts, things got off to a very rocky start.

Unlike Norman Taurog -- G.I. Blues, Blue Hawaii, Girls! Girls! Girls!, Rich had little patience for Presley’s rowdy entourage, their constant distractions and practical joking, which was eating up precious shooting time; and there were rumblings about getting them all banned from the set. “I’m not one for fraternizing too much with the group that are around the players,” said Rich. “But they were around quite a bit and you couldn’t ignore them.” Here, Presley personally intervened, saying, “When these damn movies cease to be fun, I’ll stop doing them. And if my guys go, (expletive deleted) it, so do I.” Things got even more testy on the third day of shooting when Presley insisted he do his own stunts for the fight scene at the roadhouse.

Feeling he was on thin ice already, Rich, against his better judgement, caved and let Presley have his way when he promised to take full responsibility if anything happened. Well, something did happen as the stunt went awry and the actor got clipped in the head just above his right eye to the tune of five stitches. Seeing his career going down the toilet for allowing this to happen, fearing the production would have to be shut down, Rich quickly hit upon the notion to incorporate the wound into the story, making it a result of being run off the road. His apologetic star was very grateful for the save, and after slapping on a bandage the production ran smoothly from there.

For authenticity, the production hired Craft’s 20 Big Shows, a large west-coast based carnival operation that wintered in North Hollywood. For the outdoor scenes, the show was erected in the Potrero Valley, near Thousand Oaks, California. For the interior shots, it was all uprooted and moved into three connecting sound stages on the Paramount lot. 

And to Rich’s credit, he exploited this carnival setting perfectly and Roustabout is one of the better looking Presley pictures of this period. Credit should also go to his cinematographer, Lucien Ballard, who shot most of Sam Peckinpah’s films -- Ride the High Country (1961), The Wild Bunch (1969), and The Getaway (1972).

Together, Rich and Ballard eschewed the normal traveling-matte abuse that plagued most of Presley’s pictures and kept it as all-natural as possible. From the opening song, Presley is actually on the road and on the move, singing in the breeze. There were also a couple of long, uninterrupted tracking shots along the midway that weren't easy and came off without a hitch. 

And I loved the point-of-view camera work when Rogers serenades his captive audience of one on the spinning ferris wheel, which helps engage the audience over the script’s massive short-comings. And speaking of shortcomings…

As for the music, well, I think the Roustabout soundtrack might be the worst collection of songs ever assembled for a Presley picture. And that is really saying something. Obviously, to keep costs down even more, Parker and Wallis weren’t exactly hiring top-notch songwriters for these pictures. Though it should be noted the best song of the bunch -- “Big Love, Big Heartache” -- was penned by Ed Wood’s ex-girlfriend, Dolores Fuller, who was his co-star in Glen or Glenda (1953). 

But the quality didn’t seem to matter because these soundtrack albums still sold and, by some miracle, Roustabout hit the top of Billboard’s Album Chart, knocking The Beatles off the top of the heap -- for one solitary week. It would be Presley’s last No. 1 album until the release of Aloha from Hawaii in 1973.

Roustabout was released to theaters in November of 1964 to not-so-stellar reviews but it still grossed nearly $3.3 million in ticket sales, satisfying both Wallis and Parker. But by contrast, The Beatles’ A Hard Day’s Night (1964) came out three months prior and was an absolute smash both critically -- it was “the Citizen Kane (1941) of jukebox movies” according to the The Village Voice, and financially, as it raked in a staggering $11-million dollars at the box office. And on top of that, the soundtrack sold over four million copies. Roustabout, meanwhile, tapped-out at 500,000. Both Parker and Wallis were well aware of this development but did little to nothing to meet or match this challenge posed by these British Invaders. In fact, they were kinda busy putting out a massive fire in their own camp that threatened to derail their cash-train permanently.

It was on the last day of principal photography for Roustabout when a certain story broke in the Las Vegas Desert News and Telegram, whose headline read “Elvis Helped in Success of Burton-O’Toole Movie.” The movie was Becket (1964) and, according to the article written by Vernon Scott for the UPI, which meant it appeared in papers all over the country, the more prestigious film wouldn’t have happened if not for “Sir Swivel Hips.” 

See, Wallis was interviewed for this article, who admitted that without the revenue generated by Presley, there might not have been enough “wherewithal” to film Becket, saying, “In order to do the artistic pictures, it is necessary to make the commercially successful Presley pictures. But that doesn’t mean a Presley picture can’t have quality, too.” The article then concludes by saying Roustabout, currently filming at the time of publication, might not be the greatest, but then Peter O’Toole and Richard Burton couldn’t sing like Elvis either.

 From the April 24, 1964, edition of The Desert Sun, Palm Springs, CA.

Well, the shit kinda hit the fan after that. Feeling he was being played for a rube, and a direct hit on his insecurities, Presley didn’t appreciate being thrown under the bus like that by his producer. (For the record, Wallis did the same disservice to his Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis pictures, too, in the same interview.) Or how Wallis was earning himself Academy Awards on the back of his box-office earnings, little of which actually trickled down to his own picture’s meager budget coffers. Thus and so, stuck between Wallis and Parker, if there were any doubts left about his acting career being taken seriously, they were gone now. And while he was contractually obligated to perform for Parker in future pictures, you can tell Presley had kind of checked-out from this moment on, acting wise -- especially on the Wallis pictures.

I guess one could take some grim satisfaction on how Parker’s machinations, hubris, and staunch refusal to try anything different, or how his cost-cutting demands for cheap turnarounds and backdoor profiteering, which kept resulting in lower and lower box-office returns, which then begat cheaper and even more dire films, meaning even less profits, led to his own undoing -- it's just too bad he had to take Presley with him. And as his star lost his luster on the big screen, his outlandish salary demands were soon met with indifference.

But Parker did finally get that million dollar payday. For one picture, Tickle Me (1965). But it was all downhill from there. Wallis would officially bow out of Parker’s circus after Easy Come, Easy Go (1967), and Presley’s Hollywood experiment officially came to and end with Change of Habit (1969).

And so, basically, when filming began on Roustabout, Presley’s film career was precariously teetering over a precipice. And by the time it had wrapped, it was officially over, nudged into a near fatal plunge by both Wallis and Parker. Sure, there was still plenty of entertainment to be squeezed out of what came after, when taken as the goofs they were intended to be, but things would never be the same in the Presley camp. His film career, for all intents and purposes, was dead, but nobody bothered to tell the Colonel, who failed to see that his much vaunted carnie sawdust had turned to ash.

Originally posted on April 26, 2008, at Micro-Brewed Reviews.

Roustabout (1964) Hal Wallis Productions :: Paramount Pictures / EP: Joseph H. Hazen / P: Hal Wallis / AP: Paul Nathan / D: John Rich / W: Anthony Lawrence, Allan Weiss / C: Lucien Ballard / E: Warren Low / M: Joseph J. Lilley / S: Elvis Presley, Barbara Stanwyck, Joan Freeman, Leif Erickson, Pat Butrum, Joan Staley, Sue Ane Langdon, Norm Grabowski, Racquel Welch, Billy Barty, Richard Kiel

Thursday, July 22, 2021

Beyond the Doors (1984)

“When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.” 

The year is 1984, and we open in a fog-encrusted forest somewhere near Cumberland, Maryland, where a trio of hunters make their way along a well worn game trail. Then, when their dogs roust-up a couple of pheasants, the lead hunter shoots them down, smiles, and hands the shotgun over to one of his companions before climbing over a railed fence to retrieve the game. 

Not counting the dead birds’ perspective, all seems serene enough as we innocently cut to a shot of the dogs sniffing for more targets. But then another gunshot shatters the silence, followed by a distressful scream as we quickly pan back to see the man who had climbed the fence take another shotgun blast to the chest before collapsing into a bloodied heap. Smiling sinisterly at the corpse they just created, the shooter then sneers, saying, “Rock ‘n’ roll is dead, and long live rock ‘n’ roll.”

Now, once that overtly cryptic prologue fades out, we cut to a musical montage tryptic of Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison performing live (-- or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof, ‘natch). Once that wraps, we immediately cut back to Maryland sometime after the funeral. And as the mourners return to the dead man’s house, we find out the victim was former FBI agent, Alex Stanley (Kenyon). Also of note, something sinister is most certainly afoot when his inconsolable widow bemoans the fact how her husband died in a [quote/] hunting accident [/unquote]. She also begs her son, Frank Stanley (Tice), to stick around -- just in case those strange men come around again. 

When asked to elaborate, Mrs. Stanley (Sawyer) weaves a rather dubious tale of two ‘Men in Black types,’ who first showed up not long after her husband died, forcing their way in, demanding to see all of Stanley’s files and papers. These men then proceeded to clean everything out of the deceased's home office, confiscating everything, without much of an explanation. But! They immediately came right back, looking for something they obviously missed; but they still couldn’t find what they were specifically searching for.

Well, turns out the suspicious surviving spouse knew it must’ve been her late husband’s briefcase those rude weirdos were so desperately after. Seems he left explicit instructions that if anything should ever happen to him, like, say, a close encounter with a [quote/] hunting accident [/unquote], to make sure no one else but Frank got this briefcase and, more importantly, the documents secured inside it.

Later, Frank explains to the audience through his wife, Ellen (Wilde), how his father, with whom he never really got along, used to work as a government spook; and how he would up and disappear for long periods of time on highly classified missions with nary a peep as to where or why. Thus and so, smelling something fishy, Frank finally opens the briefcase and finds a thick manuscript inside, which starts with a rather ominous preamble: 

"If you’re reading this, I’m already dead…" And as Frank continues with his late father’s testimony/posthumous confession, these documents reveal how agent Stanley belonged to a clandestine government organization called The 39 Steps: a network of covert operatives formed "outside the box" by President Nixon himself to neutralize the clear and imminent threat of the Three Pied Pipers of Rock ‘n’ Roll -- Hendrix, Joplin and Morrison, and eliminate them by any means necessary and with extreme prejudice...

Hole. Lee. She. It. Wow! What an outstanding and inspired premise for a film! I mean, just try to get your collective heads around this: the Nixon administration, in another spastic fit of paranoia, authorizes a rogue branch of the FBI to silence the voices of the counter-culture movement through dubious subterfuge and assassination. Sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? That’s because it was -- all due to who was the mastermind behind this notion from concept to execution: Larry [expletive deleted]’n Buchanan. You know, that Zontar, the Eye Creatures, and those horny Martians in desperate need of Earth women guy?!

Whoa! Hey! Waitaminute!! Don't click off! No. No! Stop! Come back here, dammit. *sigh* Fine. Well, for those of you who stuck around, you obviously have no idea who I'm talking about. And to rectify that, let me begin by saying out of all the gonzo auteurs out there, Larry Buchanan has provided more cinematic Waterloos for Yours Truly than any other filmmaker who ever schlocked a schlock.

Born Marcus Searle Jr. in Lost Prairie, Texas, in 1923, and tragically orphaned not much later, the future schlockmeister was bitten by the film bug early when the local cinema provided some much needed escapism from life at the overcrowded orphanage. When he turned 18, Searle moved to Hollywood and managed to land a job in the props department at 20th Century Fox; and even managed to land a few bit parts as an extra, which eventually led to an acting contract, which in turn led to his studio mandated name change to Larry Buchanan. But while Buchanan failed to break through as an actor, he did manage to pick up the nuts ‘n’ bolts of movie-making during a later stint in the Army Signal Corps.

Putting those skills to use, he honed them further by making several religious documentaries for Oral Roberts, and even served as an assistant director to George Cukor on The Marrying Kind (1952) before heading back to Texas to fulfill his destiny as one of thee worst independent, no-budget film entrepreneurs of all time.

Hitting the ground running, Buchanan quickly stumbled out of the gate, face-planted, and set an unholy precedent with The Naked Witch (1961); a tale of resurrected east Texas witches with grease-paint eyebrows and a roller rink Wurlitzer soundtrack, which also firmly established his modus operandi: a static camera; limited settings; inert plots, with lots of cheap, tell-don't-show inaction; oh, and padding on top of padding -- be it transition or travelogue, where each elapsed minute of screen time feels like twenty. And the cumulative inanity of it all has been known to drive people mad! Mad, I say! MMNMMAAAAAADDDDUH!

*ahem* Yes, well ... Anyhoo, after an uncredited co-directing gig for the Lolita inspired Common Law Wife (1961), Buchanan made his first attempt at social commentary with Free, White and 21 (1963), where the audience got to choose the fate of a colored man accused of raping a white girl. This was followed by a brief exposé phase with the alt-history docudrama, The Trial of Lee Harvey Oswald (1964), where the title character survived Jack Ruby's assassination attempt and faces 12 of his peers, who must determine both his sanity and if he actually did the deed or not. 

After this was Buchanan's most productive period, when he struck a deal with American International Pictures to do a series of color remakes of their back catalogue for the upstart studio’s fledgling television division. Thus, The Day the World Ended (1955) begat In the Year 2889 (1967), while The She-Creature (1956) and It Conquered the World (1956) became Creature of Destruction (1967) and Zontar: the Thing from Venus (1966) respectively. But perhaps the most well known rehash, thanks to Mystery Science Theater 3000, was Buchanan’s remake of Invasion of the Saucer-Men (1957) as Attack of the the Eye Creatures (1965 -- and no, that's not a typo). Or perhaps that honor belongs to Mars Needs Women (1967) -- for the title alone if nothing else, which is exactly what happens in that movie: nothing.

When the AIP work eventually dried up, Buchanan got back into the documentary business with the moderately effective The Other Side of Bonnie and Clyde (1968) and took a look at the mating habits of all kinds of critters with Sex and the Animals (1969). Also around this time our boy got his Bergman on something fierce with Strawberries Need Rain (1970), where a girl convinces the Grim Reaper to give her 24-more hours to live so she can lose her virginity. 

After that, when the 1970s rolled around, Buchanan got back to his docudrama roots with a couple of low-brow bio-pics: A Bullet for Pretty Boy (1970) -- a profile of notorious gangster Pretty Boy Floyd as interpreted by former teenage heartthrob Fabian, and Goodbye, Norma Jean (1976), where Misty Rowe played a young Marilyn Monroe looking for her big break in the seediest of places, which actually wasn’t that bad and I would consider this as Buchanan’s best film. 

And then came what proved to be my most favorite Buchanan flick, The Loch Ness Horror (1982), where Lake Tahoe stands in for the highlands of Scotland and an inflatable pool-toy subs in for the mythical Nessie. Fabulous movie, and truly awful. Gloriously so. Go. Watch it. NOW!

Which, I guess, finally brings us up to Beyond the Doors (1984); a paranoid, conspiracy fueled bio-pic that's seeded with enough truths and half-truths to make the bullshit seem more plausible. And in almost anyone else's hands, that bullshit could’ve had the potential to be a whole six-pack of awesome, cinematically speaking. But we all know whose hands we got, who then takes the audience by their hands and leads them somewheres else that isn't even in the same hemisphere of awesome. Still, we must persevere! 

Onward, then, as the son keeps reading his father’s dossier as the film jumps back to 1968, where we find Jimi Hendrix (Chapman) finishing his set at some undisclosed venue in New York City. Apparently, Janis Joplin (Meryl) was due to go on next but she arrived so late and so intoxicated the pissed off owner refused to let her go onstage -- until the crowd threatened to riot unless the singer performed. 

After the show, the two singers meet up in Hendrix’s dressing room, where we also get our first gratuitous topless shot. (The first of many gratuitous topless shots, I might add. Larry! Have you no shame?!) And at some point during this impromptu jam session, Joplin boldly asks if all those rumors about the size of Hendrix’s ... *ahem* “Texarkana Dingus” (-- the movie’s euphemism, not mine), were true. The answer, to quote Lili Von Shtupp, It's t'woo! It's t'woo!

Next, we jump to a hotel room in Amsterdam, where a nude woman watches a report about the escalating war in Vietnam. In the same room, a prostrate Jim Morrison (Wolf) is rousted out of bed, I’ll assume by the rest of The Doors, for an impending gig -- but not before he mumbles something about dying for rice paddies and napalm. 

Now hang on, as we abruptly switch locales again and warp ahead to find Hendrix in a studio laying down some new tracks. Enter a group of Black Panthers, who accuse the singer of selling out to the White Man while his people are dying over in Vietnam. Further berated by a female Panther, who claims his music says nothing and does nothing -- except help Whitey get laid, Hendrix promises to do a song that will wake America up. Satisfied, the Panthers leave; but after they're gone, Hendrix smashes his guitar in guilt-ridden anger.

Crash, bang, zoom we go again, and we're suddenly in some sleazy hotel in Oakland, California, where an FBI agent is getting some sexual favors from an informant before he reports in, saying the Black Panthers have moved south to Los Angeles and are spreading their militant doctrine around the college campuses and rock concerts; like the one The Doors are currently performing, where Morrison, still in a melancholy mood, spouts some more bad poetry that impresses his female companion. (I'll assume this is Pamela Courson.) He then talks about the leaders of the world becoming butchers, using 18-pound sledge hammers to get their jollies. (Just sing “Light My Fire” already, jeez.) 

Meanwhile, in one of the film's better scenes, Joplin watches a BBC newscast about her performance at Albert Hall, where she is misquoted by a reporter who claims she said there was absolutely no connection between drugs, music and Vietnam. But as the BBC shifts to news footage of the war, Janis shoots up with heroin; then, the images on the TV dissolve into Hendrix’s scalding rendition of the national anthem he unleashed at Woodstock. (I think this was the song he had promised earlier.) And after finishing this blistering set, he passes out backstage.

Next we move to Washington, DC, where agent Stanley is being recruited for a new assignment by one of Nixon's stooges. Opening with a funny, off-color joke about Nixon being crooked, things quickly get down to business and a discussion on the Commander-in-Chief's growing paranoia. Seems Tricky Dick is hell bent on setting up an independent security force outside of the FBI that will only answer directly to him. Surprised that his boss, J. Edgar Hoover, would allow this to happen, Stanley is told the FBI director fully endorsed this covert action because he thinks they’re still fighting the Communists. 

Here, it's emphasized all Nixon really cares about is his re-election, and that's why he's so worried about the influence of the counterculture movement on younger voters. And so, to help ensure his victory, Nixon wants that perceived threat neutralized -- and that's where Stanley, no stranger to this kind of wet-work, and The 39 Steps comes in.

Later, at the Stanley home, the ringleader briefs his team on the mission at hand and how the voices of the musical revolution must be silenced -- and silenced quickly. When their meeting is interrupted by some loud music coming from young Frank’s room, his father barges in, destroys the record, and warns his son not to play that type of [N-bomb] music in his house. (So, here, we find out that agent Stanley not only hates music, but was a bona fide bigot as well. Neat.)

Setting their sights on Hendrix first, these rogue agents first track down and kill Rainbow Brown -- the guitarist's usual source for drugs, and substitute a bad batch of acid with his new supplier. (Don’t take the brown acid, man.) Thus, all the pieces start to fall into place when we next find Hendrix at The Le George discotheque in New York, where, as fate (or a bad movie script) would have it, Joplin and Morrison are also hanging out. Here, they’re all impressed with the stage show until a bizarre conga-line of transvestites start imitating them, and they bash them pretty good, too, for their self-indulgent lifestyles.

Recognizing one of the drunken performers as the lady Black Panther who visited him earlier, Hendrix gets her alone to talk. Seems she tried to reach out to him before but he was too insulated. Promising things will be different from now on-- no more playing with his teeth, etc, the singer also confides about the bad acid trips he’s been having lately. He’s also wary of the same "gray faces" that have been lingering at every concert, hanging around backstage in the shadows. Warned that somebody has put a mark on him, Hendrix promises to be careful. 

Meantime, in the club's ladies room, Joplin finds Morrison banging some gal in one of the stalls. When Pam catches them, Morrison blames it all on Joplin. This, with good reason, pisses Joplin off enough to break a bottle over the creep's head. After Morrison leaves, Joplin confesses to Pam about how lonely the life of a rock star is. Truth be told, she’s jealous of the "action" Morrison and Hendrix get and, in a scene that is way too good for a Larry Buchanan flick, she confesses there are two Janis Joplins: one that makes love to 25,000 people on stage, and the other who always goes home alone. 

Meanwhile, The 39 Steps continue to tighten their noose on Hendrix, who's back in England, performing somewhere on the Isle of White. Backstage, he meets the infamous Cynthia Albritton; a gal who wants to capture every famous rocker’s “Texarkana Dingus” in dental plaster -- starting with Hendrix. 

This is a true story folks, and she’s still doing it today, amassing a collection of over 50 phalluses. Immortalized later in the KISS song “Plaster Caster” the only thing they got wrong was they made Albritton English, when she’s really from Chicago.

And yes, Hendrix really did get the cast made. And at least according to this movie, it would be one of the last things he ever did. For the very next morning, agent Stanley is assured Hendrix ingested the drugs they slipped into his drink the night before. Inside his flat, Hendrix’s companion wakes up but fails to rouse him before she leaves for some cigarettes. Once she’s gone, another agent sneaks in and plants more pills around the bedroom. Begging for permission to just kill Hendrix now, Stanley orders him to stand down and clear out because what happens next must look like an accident. 

Thus, the stage is set when the girl returns, who goes into a panic when she still can’t wake Hendrix up. Of course, when she tries to summon an ambulance the call is intercepted by Stanley, who sends in some bogus paramedics to haul Hendrix out. And after they get him loaded up in the ambulance, Hendrix starts to come around and begins to vomit. Moving quickly, one of the paramedics gets him in a headlock and forces his victim to [quote/] accidentally choke to death on his own vomit [/unquote]. So that's one down, with two to go.

The mission kinda accelerates from there as Joplin, the next target, finishes a recording session and heads for home. Inside her apartment, agent Stanley is injecting and saturating her oranges with lethal doses of heroin. Hearing her approach, he hides in a closet and waits while she runs the tainted fruit through a juicer, which the girl then mixes with some vodka. Drinking it down quickly, she instantly becomes woozy; and after she passes out cold, her assassin begins doctoring the scene by placing several empty syringes around the body, and then sticks another into her arm just as the phone rings. Ever the cool character, Stanley picks up the receiver, drops it by the singer’s head, gathers up all the evidence, and leaves. That's two down, with one more to go. 

But, as he lays out his plans to bump off Morrison, agent Stanley is told the old Lizard King was already dead. Needing to be sure, Stanley heads to Paris and, posing as a reporter, interviews Pam about the singer's sudden and tragic demise. When her story doesn't ring true, coupled with the fact that no one actually ever saw the body before it was buried, Stanley’s convinced Morrison was still alive. 

The audience, meanwhile, doesn't need any convincing, for we already know the last Pied Piper, with his health failing rapidly, faked his own death and retreated to a monastery hospice somewhere in Spain to recuperate. Why did he fake his own death? In his own words, "Death has one helluva plus -- privacy." 

Agent Stanley then spent the next few months tracking Morrison down, but, by then, he had grown disgruntled with his President and disillusioned with his chosen profession and came to the conclusion to just let this last one go. Years later, Stanley planned to blow the whistle on the whole operation by first going to Europe to see if Morrison was still alive. Alive or dead, he would then finish and publish his book, exposing The 39-Steps and what they had wrought. Well, he was going to do all of that right after a pheasant hunt with some old friends.

A flabbergasted Frank isn’t sure what to make of it all until Ellen suggests he take up his late father's final mission, go to the Spanish monastery, and find out the truth for himself. This he does, but once there Frank is led into the woods by the head monk, where they come upon a cemetery. Here, his guide comments on how happy Morrison became once he settled in; how he felt he'd finally found true peace. Unfortunately, Morrison’s health was too far gone, and when he died in 1974 they buried him here, in this simple plot. When Frank asks which one is the singer’s grave, as they are all designated with an unmarked cross, the monk isn’t sure since they don’t ever mark them, saying, "How else would he be free?" 

So, What do I think? Would Nixon really go this far? Well, as paranoid as that guy was, I’ve no doubt he or his cronies could've tried to pull something like this off. But did he actually do it though? I doubt it. The man was crooked but he and his sycophants just weren’t that clever. Also, there is a fine line between trying to do justice for those you think have been unjustly wronged / and taking a dump on their legacies, troubled though they may be, with this kind of ... conjecture at best and pure lunacy at worst.   

In his book The Films of Larry Buchanan: A Critical Study, author Rob Craig discusses how his subject matter always “decried the label of ‘conspiracy theorist,’ which had been pinned on him by both fans and detractors.” What rankled Buchanan the most about this label, according to Craig, “was its allusion to ‘crank’ theory -- unfounded and weird assertions about unsolved mysteries.” For Buchanan, the deaths of Hendrix, Joplin and Morrison all happening in less than a calendar year, all at the age of 27, who all died of an overdose -- Hendrix, sleeping pills, Joplin, heroin, Morrison, an alcohol abuse-induced heart attack, in those volatile times, with Nixon running roughshod over everything, declaring nothing he did was illegal because he was the President after all, was too much of a coincidence and made excellent fodder for his latest theory / feature.

All research points to the completed film, then under the title Down On Us, made its one and only limited theatrical showing at the University of Texas in 1984 because Buchanan ultimately failed to find a distributor for his latest opus. From there, it was trimmed down considerably and released on home video in 1989 as Beyond the Doors by Unicorn Video. I couldn’t find any info on the original cut’s runtime but the Unicorn version still came in at nearly two hours, which was about thirty to forty minutes too long by my estimation because, holy hell, does this film tend to meander around, in a meanwhile, meanwhile, meanwhile sense, as that rambling recap above can attest, even though we keep jumping all over the globe, trying to keep up with our cast of characters, but it can never quite escape that Buchanan inertia.

As for the cast plugged into those characters, Gregory Allen Chatman does an okay Hendrix; and despite the script she’s forced to recite for the majority of her scenes, Riba Meryl is actually quite good as Joplin -- especially when she talks about how lonely she is. Bryan Wolf, however, crashed and burned as the overly morose Morrison, what with his constant comparing everything to hammers and napalm. And I can’t quite decide if they’re all singing on their own or if it’s canned. All the songs used were pretty low on the groups’ hit-lists, too. Cheaper to license, I guess.

From a filmmaking standpoint, all the Buchanan trademarks are present and accounted for: one familiar set, tastefully rearranged in a hope we wouldn't notice the same furniture from scene to scene; static shot after static shot after static shot; and tons of really bad dialogue that somebody sure thought was significant. Like, significant, significant. 

However, and to his credit -- his one credit, I do believe Buchanan did a little homework before knuckling out the screenplay for Beyond the Doors. Some of the incidents and locations portrayed hold true to history, while others are based on folklore and several entrenched urban legends surrounding these musical giants -- including Morrison faking his own death. Unfortunately, Buchanan seemed to be more concerned with shots of topless groupies (and one disturbingly bottomless groupie) than unraveling any great conspiracy here.

Okay, okay, sure, stinker that it is, I freely admit that Beyond the Doors had been a personal Holy Grail of mine for a very long time. Yeah, this was another one of those treasure hunt movies, from the before before time, before torrenting, streaming, and YouTube or the IMDB were a thing, where you only had a title and the vaguest of notions of a plot picked-up through word of mouth or perhaps a cock-eyed blurb in some psychotronic film compendium of yore, which always triggered the "Holy crap, do I gotta see this!" reflex. This time, it was a video blurb by Leonard Maltin discussing offbeat films released on video as part of his Entertainment Tonight segment. No. I am not making that up. 

I missed the title, but had the gist of the conspiracy plot. And while nearly 15-years of searching turned up squat there finally came that fateful day in the fall of 1996 when I was perusing a local video store of the town where I had just landed a job, where, in the Classics Section for Crom’s sake, nestled in between copies of Ben-Hur (1959) and Casablanca (1942) sat, you guessed it, Beyond the Doors

Of course, my excitement over this improbable discovery was hampered somewhat when the fine print on the VHS box revealed it was, indeed, the film I had been searching for all that time but also the film's origin and originator. And, well, I had expected the worst with that 'written and directed' by credit and, sadly, the film held few surprises and even fewer flashes of brilliance from there.

Thus, leave it to Larry Buchanan to take such an inspired premise and make it so utterly null and void. But! I'm still glad that I finally managed to track down a copy of Beyond the Doors, and I was happy to cross yet another film off that long ‘gotta see that one’ list. Beyond that, we're just kinda left with a not-so-fleeting feeling that we've just witnessed an air-ball of biblical proportions that easily should’ve been a slam-dunk. And in any other hands? Yeah. 

Originally posted on May 5, 2001, at 3B-Theater.

Beyond the Doors (1984) Omni Leisure International :: Unicorn Video / EP: Murray M. Kaplan / P: Larry Buchanan / D: Larry Buchanan / W: Larry Buchanan / C: Nicholas Josef von Sternberg / E: Larry Randolph / M: Jeffrey Dann, David Shorey / S: Gregory Allen Chatman, Riba Meryl, Bryan Wolf, Sandy Kenyon, Toni Sawyer, Steven Tice, Jennifer Wilde